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2011年8月1日星期一

How do I help a friend get his life back together?

-I am 19 years old and i am a religious person who has never done drugs or stuff that will get me into trouble. When i got home from college for the summer i took this minimum wage job to make money for school. I met this guy at work who is 29 years old. We have become really close friends but he is completely opposite from me. He dropped out of high school, got into drugs, is not married but has 2 kids, has relationships with different women, and drama in his life. He also is struggling with money. Basically his life is really going downhill but he's not a bad guy. He has made a lot of mistakes but he loves his kids, wants to go back school, and wants to change his life. The problem is that he feels stuck. He lives with the mother of his kids so he's afraid to leave her for fear that he will loose his kids. He really isnt happy with the relationship and he is afraid he wont have enough money to support his kids or go back to school. He's stuck at a job he hates and a relationship that isnt healthy for him or his kids. I really want to help him out because he is a good person but im not sure how. I don't have a lot of life experience and i don't want to give him the wrong advice. He needs a lot of help. What should I do to help him get his life together so him and his kids are happy?Offer to help him find a better job I guess...there's not a whole lot you can do...maybe suggest places for him to work at or help him do a really good resume. That's all you can really do very thoughtful of you!
try a local college and still live @ home
Don't give him any of your money. Friends should never borrow money from each other because, you won't get paid back and it will cause problems. Also, if you give him a little he'll ask for a lot more. Then you'll feel obligated to give more and more. You can lead him in the right direction. He can apply for grants for college. He needs to fill out a FASFA application to start. You could give him an application for several different colleges. There are technical schools that he could even go to. If he finds a good job and stays on a good path then he wont lose his kids. Legally he can fight for joint custody. He can see an attorney to talk about his options. If you show him his options and that he has resources to help him then he will be set on the right track. It is up to him if he wants to change his life. I think you are a really good person for wanting to help him. Just be careful not to get used.

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